First Aid for the Jewish Marriage
Daniel Schonbuch, MA is the former director of Shalom Task Force, an acclaimed author of ‘At Risk – Never Beyond Reach: Three Principles Every Parent and Educator Should Know‘ andFirst Aid For Jewish Marriages, and a popular lecturer on parenting and relationships. As a certified PAIRS instructor, and trained as a Level 1 Emotionally Focused Therapist at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, an expert in marital counseling, and with over 10 years of experience he understands the sensitive needs of the Orthodox Jewish families and the unique challenges facing our community.
Daniel Schonbuch specializes in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). Considered the most advanced couples therapy in the world, EFT is a short term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the early 80′s by Drs. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. EFT is also used with children and families.
To feel loved and nurtured your spouse needs to feel that you empathize with their emotions. The key is empathy. Empathy isn’t the same as sympathy or pity. It means being able to put yourself in another’s position, to feel what they feel and see what they see, without losing yourself in the process. And it means you do all of that, even though you may disagree with your spouse’s perceptions, opinions, or feelings. Take a few minutes a day, at a time that works best for both of you, to empathize with the stresses and strains you are each experiencing in other areas of your life. It can make a difference between a marriage that succeeds, and one that fails.
Through empathy you can deepen the effect of active listening and make your spouse feel that they can turn to you whenever they need to. Empathizing means that we listen without judging the other person’s thoughts and feelings. We tell them that we understand what they are facing and share their pain.
An Alternative To Marriage Therapy That Has Helped Hundreds of Orthodox Jewish Couples
“Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch is an experienced counselor and teacher and a keen student of marriage and adolescence.” Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski
Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, Marriage and Family Therapy